Eenie Meenie Minie Mo

Well here I am sitting at home with the first full day of a new and structured way of life laid out in all its glory.

Managed to update some irrelevant computer programs, faffed around at filing things that really do not need filing and finally logged on to read some of my favorite blogs and get inspired. Success? Limited.

I am hoping that many of the notes and trains of thought that I had during my respite / treatment will start to take form and morph into posts. I am wanting to continue my self analysis and cognitive adjustments via my words, but right now it is all scattered out in random pile of ggrrrrrr…

I am already realizing the benefits of being shut away in a sanctuary, so few distractions and so much time. I could not have held out for much longer. I always said that when the Doctors thought that I was ready and I agreed then it would be time to head home. Now the adjustments have to start here in these four walls. Not wanting to get too far ahead of myself, as that is usually what sends me backwards in the first place,  but curse it I want to feel as productive with my writing as I did over the past few weeks.

I am looking for an angle to introduce a more in depth reflection and information relating to some of the diagnosis that I received, but that starting point is avoiding me. I am keen to build on my thoughts of vulnerability Vs power in the depressed mind, but alas that pile of CDs needs filing away. So many things waiting to cluttered a freshly cleared mind that I really have concentrate on avoiding the first old habit, procrastination. A habit that I perfected as way of not committing to an outcome for fear of, well of not getting it done. It sounds so foolish when you actually put into words but that has been the way that this mind of mine has operated for the past few decades.

I think I will start mapping out a few ideas I developed last week before burdening myself with thesaurus laden decisions.

Focus.

Eenie Meenie Minie Mo.

I’ll start that one.

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~ by Rob McClintock on October 19, 2010.

One Response to “Eenie Meenie Minie Mo”

  1. Rob, it is amazing just from reading your blogs how far you have come. Take it easy on yourself and remember each day is a whole brand new day. I know when my Mum kept her diary during cancer it was all over the place, but that is often how we go through our thoughts. Hang in there because you have done an amzing journey so far. Luc x

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